Okay people, listen up, cause I’ve got a serious question for you all: What is a sugar daddy? No, really, what? It sounds simple and straightforward, and it SHOULD be, because this really isn’t that hard. But I think we all know it’s not that hard for most people, am I right?
Well, actually, maybe it is, because MOST people will just tell you that a sugar baby is a prostitute, which makes a sugar daddy a “John.” The only difference is that sugar daddies are rich, so they don’t need to meet their trick-turners in seedy motel rooms. That’s what this whole thing boils down to, when you ask the average person off the street: Sugaring is high-class hooking, and I guess hooking really is pretty simple.
Of course, it probably won’t surprise you to hear me say this, but that’s a whole lot of BULLSHIT. Sugar daddies aren’t rich Johns, honey: Sugar daddies are boyfriends. THAT is the simplest, easiest, and TRUEST way to put it.
For thousands of years, up to and including today, women have been intimately attracted to men who have “money”. Whether that’s been actual cash or gold or whatever, land with a nice house on it, or the most freaking cows on his farm. Whatever means “wealth” in the society we’re looking at, that’s where females have looked for their mates.
Oh, I’m sorry, am I offending your 21st century modern sensibilities? Well, then hold on tight, cause this next part’s really gonna hurt: Women LIKE it when men take care of them. No, I’m not saying that EVERY woman has to be like this, especially nowadays. But I AM saying it’s built into our biology, and more often than not, it’s what you’re going to see. It isn’t weak or disempowering for a woman to want to date a guy who has money. It’s just natural.
And that’s all that sugar relationships are. They’re women being honest for a change about what they want in a boyfriend, and men being honest about what they’ve got that REALLY attracts women. That doesn’t mean money is the only thing we’re looking for or that they have to offer, of course. There’s still the need for compatible personalities, similar interests, and the ability to hold a conversation with each other.
Meanwhile, good looks are the “money” that most attracts men to us, and it certainly doesn’t hurt from our perspective when the guy is easy on the eyes, too. But the relationship IS based on the idea that the male partner is able to financially take care of the female; not just her basic needs but also in luxuries. Basically, sugar daddies are providers.
Sugar Babies Are Girlfriends
That’s why sugar babies aren’t prostitutes, and it’s why sugar daddies are boyfriends, not Johns. We don’t get “paid to have sex”, the way people simplistically think. In a lot of ways, DESPITE the fact that we do usually collect an allowance, we don’t actually get “paid” at all. I mean, I understand that this is a much harder sell, and there are a lot of sugar babies who will tell you that yes, we do get paid.
Look, you can use that word if you want to. I’m just saying that if WE get paid, then every young girl in history who’s ever gotten married to a well-off man and lived off his income (and that’s a lot, honey), was also “getting paid”. You can call it whatever you want, but it’s the same between sugar relationships and the way things have always been done.
More: Sugar Daddy Sites…
And don’t go thinking that sugar relationships can’t be deeply romantic, either. They can. Sure, sometimes a sugar daddy and sugar baby are more like friends, hanging out and doing whatever it is they do together just because they’re both having fun. Any relationship can be like that. But I’ve seen sugar couples that you can’t call anything BUT a boyfriend and girlfriend; they just happen to be sugaring.
My Friend’s Sugar Daddy is Her Soulmate
As I’m writing this, I keep thinking about my friend Karen (no real names here, obviously). She and her sugar daddy, Steve, have been seeing each other for about a year now. If you’re wondering, she’s 24, he’s 62, and neither of them cares. They could be the exact same age or even wider apart for all that it bothers either of them.
What they do care about is the fact that they love each other. I’m dead serious: They aren’t just friends, and best believe Steve isn’t some recurring “client” on Karen’s John list. Actually, they’re totally exclusive with each other, physically and emotionally, and use terms of endearment (you know, dear, baby, honey, etc etc) with each other way more often than their names.
They are completely serious about this relationship: Steve’s wife, who he loved very much, died a few years ago, and he was depressed and lonely until he met Karen. When he was ready to start seeing women again, he decided he wanted someone a good bit younger than him; the main reason for that, and he was honest about this with Karen early on, was that he didn’t think he could handle outliving his partner again.
He expects to spend the rest of his life with my friend, and while she admits that she doesn’t know the future, she’s fully open to that possibility. And yet, they’re a sugar couple: Karen is a recent college graduate with almost no assets, and Steve is a wealthy business owner. He paid off all her student loans shortly after they started dating, he helps with her bills, and he still gives her a monthly allowance.
They’re even considering moving Karen into Steve’s house, since they’re doing so well together. If a relationship like this doesn’t prove that sugar daddies are boyfriends, I don’t know what does.
Finally, some sugar daddies (the “Johns”, remember) aren’t even out looking for a sexual relationship. That’s why so many of them stick to online-sugaring, which is when the sugar daddy and sugar baby communicate entirely online and by phone. In most cases, they never actually meet in person, even when they’re together for a long time.
And while these guys love to see their sugar babies on webcam and Facetime, they usually won’t even ask for a naked dance or other kind of sexual performance. They just aren’t in it for that kind of thing. They just want to enjoy the companionship of the girl, and they’re still happy to spend money on her. What do you call a John who drops cash on a woman without even getting or expecting sex? Oh, right. Not a John.
Before wrapping up, I’ll just add something because a lot of people who aren’t familiar with sugaring don’t even believe me when I say that online sugar daddies exist: If you want to see them, visit the camming sites, especially Chaturbate, because that’s where they hang out.
They’re usually called “whales” there, or rich users who drop huge tips, and occasionally befriend a girl they like and get into a sugaring relationship with her. Work as a webcam model on Chaturbate for awhile; sooner or later, you’ll see online sugar daddies for yourself, and you’ll see that there’s more than one answer to the question of what a sugar daddy is.