There seem to be a lot of people out there who have heard the term “sugar baby”, but have only the most surface idea of who we are and what this lifestyle is about. Hey, that by itself is fine! Sugaring isn’t for everybody, and some people just aren’t interested in how it all works. But a couple little things on that.
Truth delivered in this post:
1 – Basic facts about sugar babies.
2 – Why sugaring is not prostitution.
First, I’m going to assume that you ARE interested, since you’re reading my blog. And second, people have this annoying little habit when they don’t understand something of filling in those blanks with a whole lotta something they call “common sense,” but is really “straight out of my juicy unwiped ass”. Let me do some public service here and lay some sweet, sugary truth on you instead.
So, What is Sugaring?
In a lot of ways, a sugar baby is just a normal woman who’s more honest than most about something people have been doing for, like, thousands of years now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for feminism and gender equality and all that “You Go Girl” shit, but I hope it’s not gonna shatter anybody’s worldview to hear that most women like financially well-off men, and most men like physically attractive women.
Riches come with age and beauty comes with youth, which leads us to a certain age gap in intimate relationships; and that’s probably why there’s BEEN that age gap for most of history, in most societies, with wives being on the young side, and husbands on the older. Modern sugar babies just admit what’s really going on.
They date guys who have money, and those guys are usually a good bit older. It’s just that in sugar, instead of hiding in the background and almost never getting talked about, money is understood as the primary reason for the relationship and it gets discussed quite a bit.
Sugar babies receive a cash “allowance” from their sugar daddies, usually weekly or monthly, and there’s an expectation that at least some gifts will be given to the girls in addition. These can be clothes, handbags, cars…anything, really, depending on the means of the sugar daddy and the desires of the sugar baby.
Of course, sugar couples go out on dates just like any other couple, and it’s understood that the sugar daddy will pay for everything they do together. Sugar daddies don’t actually have to be RICH to be part of this lifestyle, but obviously, they need to have at least a good amount of money more than they need.
Why Being a Sugar Baby is NOT Prostitution
Now, if you’re anything like most people, I already know what you’re thinking. It’s okay. There’s a lot of money changing hands here, and the amount usually only goes up when the sugar daddy IS wealthy. Don’t worry, you can ask. I’ve heard it all a million times: “If the sugar baby is getting ALL THAT, what does she…you know! What does a sugar baby do??”
So, you think sugaring is basically hooking? Okay, prepare for a truth enema.
And this is what everyone really, truly wants to know about. Or really, they just want to hear it confirmed, because there’s this assumption that sugar babies are all a bunch of prostitutes. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not like that. These arrangements aren’t about sex. We don’t advertise services on hidden websites, we don’t meet up with sugar daddies in seedy motel rooms never to see them again after, and AT NO TIME (say it with me now) is money exchanged for sex acts.
It doesn’t work that way, and anyone who thinks it does is on the outside looking in. They don’t understand the reality of what a sugar baby is.
So, really, what does a sugar baby do? The short answer is, the same as a woman in any other couple. Because that’s what we’re in: a couple, and that couple does couple things together. We go out to dinner, we see movies, we hit the carnival. If our budget (which, in this case, means his budget) allows, we go away on nice vacations. Sometimes we’re just having fun together, and we know it. Sometimes we fall in love.
If you think about what a sugar baby is and how sugaring works, you realize quickly that it’s quite similar to being in a normal relationship.
I guess you could say there’s some kind of power imbalance caused by the fact that all the money comes from the sugar daddy, but again, you have to compare that to other relationships. It’s no different than those “traditional” marriages with a husband who earns all the family’s money and a housewife who usually doesn’t even have a job. At least in our arrangements, the sugar baby has quite a bit of her own money, both from her sugar daddy and whatever she might do for work. She just doesn’t have to spend that money on the relationship.
So, am I saying that sex NEVER happens in sugaring? Of course not. Like in any relationship between consenting adults, we share intimacy if and when we both choose to. But a sugar baby doesn’t get PAID to have sex. Maybe you could say she gets paid to have an ongoing relationship, but I’m not even sure about that. Does the traditional wife I talked about up there get paid to be married? We’re just honest about how human couples have always worked. That’s all.
That Time at The Bar…
Let me drive the point home, and show you how even some people in the lifestyle don’t get it, by telling you about a pot I once met (“pot” is sugar baby code for “potential sugar daddy”). We had been exchanging messages on SeekingArrangement.com for about a week, and I gotta say, he seemed like a really nice guy. So nice, that when he asked to meet me for drinks in a hotel bar, I jumped at the invitation.
During our conversation, he was very engaged and friendly. He was understanding, too, because I had made it clear to him, both online and at this bar, that I like to get to know a man before being intimate with him, and I never have sex with someone I’ve just met. Every time I brought that up, he was cool with it. And yet, somehow, he thought it would be an AMAZING idea, after we were finished with our martinis, to pull an envelope containing $400 out from his jacket and push it toward me on the counter. I opened it, saw the money, and asked him what it was for, even though I had a sinking suspicion that I already knew.
I will go to my fucking grave remembering his response: “It’s a down payment, to test-drive the goods before I sign up. I have a room upstairs.”
Sometimes the stupid is so strong with people, it actually gives me cramps.
I was more offended than I can ever remember being, but I managed to keep my composure. Instead of yelling at him, I smiled sweetly, and even tried to make it look a little seductive. “Give me your hand,” I whispered hotly to him. His eyes lit up, and he was obviously getting excited. He did as I asked. I took his hand in both of mine, and gently curled his fingers toward his palm, just shy of making him form a fist. Then I started pumping his hand back and forth in the air, grinned at him, and said: “This is the only ‘goods’ you’re gonna be getting tonight, asshole.”
His jaw was still on the floor when I got up and left.
So, yeah, once in awhile you’ll run into someone who doesn’t understand what he’s trying to get involved in. But the vast majority of people in sugar know very well how it works, and it’s not about sex.
And, it’s even LESS about sex when you start getting into online-only sugaring, which people also do. That’s when the sugar daddy and his sugar baby only communicate over the Internet, and usually by phone. But in most of those cases, there’s never any sexual element to it; not even naked pictures or cam shows. And, yeah, the sugar daddy still pays.
The best place to meet online-only sugar daddies is Chaturbate, if you’re interested. You basically work as a cam model there for awhile, and eventually, a rich guy looking for a sugar baby will approach you. They’re all over Chaturbate, for some reason. I’ll be blogging a lot more about this in the future, actually, because it seems a LOT of girls want to know more about it.